Things I Write About Women

Lily’s of the field

Things I Write About Women

From the heart of

Chaplain Winston Tobias Muldrew

 I have observed the rambling on's of other men for many a season. With none of them I chose to contend.

These are things I alone may write. And I take full responsibility if they cause you delight. For the content you will find within, I have not relied upon other men, but on women.

If I do have discussions with other men, it is with them who already have the same knowing within.

This is all about and for women. I take no responsibility for the consequences a man will face if he reads that which I have refrained.

About the Author

All I can say about the author is that he loves women. He began writing about spiritual matters which came in a flood of ideas. It was during this time that the following words flowed out of his spirit. His whole life began to change as began to share these writings with women. The whole process of writing this book has been a living, learning, growing experience, and he hasn't finished yet.

He does not feel comfortable about showing any of this work to men. He would hate to see them used just as lines to be used on women that would not come from their hearts. He has been told by some women that most men would not understand anyway, but that women like this type of writing. Also he has heard more than once that men need to be taught. 

Everything he has written he truly feels but is an art form as well. The thoughts that come to a woman's mind after reading this material may reveal what is in her mind rather than his. He usually likes to discuss each writing with women after they read it which is very enlightening for both of them. 

Everything he says to women is meant to be positive, loving, moving, and thought provoking. He feels that women have been hurt too many times. Hopefully this is conveyed in his writings.

AskyB

Ask Your Brother

The shortest distance

between two points

Is a straight line.

0---0---0

Dedication

This collection of Shorts is dedicated to the many women in my heart. Many of whom I came in contact with, and inspired me to write about them, recently.

I chose not to mention any women by name. My desire is that other women will identify with these real life experiences, and feelings that I have expressed,

At least in part.

I love you all ...

Women In My Life

I don't know why He sends them into my life. I sometimes don't understand them. I don't even know what they want. I just love them and do what they say. The Spirit knows.

I don't know how they do it, but I like it. I just do what I do, and I don't know what to do. I can't even do for them if they don't want me to. I just leave them alone. I'm even learning how to think like they want me to think, and what they don't want me to think about. They want me to think about them.

They always show up when I need them. Women know things that men don't know about. You have to love women. They do what they want to do and we let them get away with it. A woman knows what a man needs and he doesn't have to ask her for it.

Even though there are a lot of women in my life, when one is not there I miss her terribly. Some more than others. Perhaps I can still feel the others. 

Sometimes a woman will cut me off and I feel a deep sense of loss. That is a good thing. Women are precious. I don't know if they are coming back or not. It's not up to me and that's OK, but I hope they do. I don't want to lose any of them.

Women got to have (it) and what. Where and when are just as important, they will let you know. But don't spend a lot of time on why. You probably won't understand (it) anyway.

Am I Talking About Women

Or Shoes?

I know what size shoe fits me.

I still try them on before I buy them.

If they are tennis shoes I wear them out of the store, and have them toss the old ones out.

I've tried shoes in the past that I thought were my size, but they did not fit. Just because the shoes fit it doesn't mean you have to buy them.

Sometimes I just like to try on different types of shoes.

The shoes that do fit I wear until I wear them out. No sense in wearing uncomfortable shoes. They are bad for the feet.

I have different kinds of shoes:

One pair

I wear once every two weeks.

One pair

I wear two or three times a week.

One pair

I wear every day.

One pair

I wear once in a blue moon.

One pair

I wear once a week.

It's important what type of shoes you buy. The feet are the most important part of the body.

Walking With Women

I hear you talking to me.

I see you talking to me.

We be walking!

I feel Ya!

You say it communicates better.

It tastes good.

I listen to the music.

Your perfume is alluring.

Your touch is sensual.

You be Spiritual ...

I love it!

What Women Need

 (From men)

Not necessarily in this order...

Security.

     To feel pretty.

To be loved (physically, emotionally,

mentally, spiritually)

To be appreciated.

     To be listened to.

Understanding.

     Respect.

Help.

     To be led.

To lead.

     To be taught.

To teach.

     An overseer/protector

Someone to keep watch.

     Someone discerning/with insight

To be tough.

     To be there,

     when they want them to be there.

To give them what they want.

To take a load off them, and it  take upon themselves for free.

Most of all friendship.

Some Of Us

Were Like Them Too

God chose and saved Ruth the Moabite from a tribe of pagans, Rahab the prostitute from Jericho, Bathsheba the adulteress, who married King David, and countless other sinners down to the virgin Mary who birthed Jesus. And all of these women are in the lineage of Christ.

Mary is blessed and recognized for birthing God in the flesh, our Savior Jesus Christ. But God also chose all of these women because they were important and necessary for the gene pool of the man Jesus Christ.

So what kind of life should you live to be qualified to be chosen of God? Should you do wrong? Did they do the right thing? Does it even matter?

God is trying to teach us that we don't know what to do, nor how to go about doing it, and our sins don't matter. He took care of that problem before the foundation of the earth, and He works it all out.

Adam and Eve sinned. They couldn't keep the one and only law they were required to keep, and they were not born sinful like we are.

What makes you think you can keep all the laws of the Bible especially in your condition? The standard is so high you can't. If you break just one law it's the same thing as if you have broken them all. By the time you find out what a few of them are you have already broken a lot more.

If there are any changes in your life it's because it's time, and God made the change. He said that He would perfect us. That is a process that takes place over time. We were chosen before the foundation of the earth to be conformed to the image of Christ.

We need to be mindful that some of us were just like them too...

J just Be Volley’n

If you know anything about tennis you know what I'm talking about. Somebody called me a Hobo because I ride a lot of trains. Why not see the country? I've been married twice, got kids, got step kids, got a grand kid. It's time to take what I know to the world.

I be hav'n fun. I like the girlee's and they like me too. Maybe it's something I do and don't do. Maybe I'm in the flow.

You don't need to know the train schedule, I just hop on board. I don't know how I know. I don't need to. This is what I call being a player player anyway.

No time for hate'n.  I just be luv'um on um. Somebody said I get a lot of luv, as she stroked my chin and I watched a girlee dance. They be doing it good.

 I feel like I'm in heav'um. My buddy said a few years ago that we were in paradise. I think we moved up a notch or two. Can it get any better than this? Yeah! Ain't that good news!

Mary Is Woman From All Ages

Mary had a little lamb and she hooked me up!

Jesus

Food

Kids

Sex

Hugs and Kisses

Love

Friendship

Purpose

By look'n pretty

Etcetera, Etcetera, Etcetera.

They be work'n it ...

Mary's alright in my book.

Mary is woman from all ages. One mind. You talk to one you talk to them all. When they speak they speak for all woman.

Woman came from man. Man comes out of woman. Man is head of woman. Woman is help meet. She be hook'n him up!

If she adds Wo to a man he has a Woman. If he takes Wo from a woman she has a man. He carries the burden.

Through woman comes all of mankind. By woman we have motherhood. Even God wanted a mother.

The key to a man's heart is his belly.

Woman stimulates

              the belly.

Woman grabs

             man by the heart.

Woman stimulates

              that love thing.

Woman stimulates

             man's eye gate.

Woman stimulates

             man's ear gate.

Woman satisfies

             man's needs.

Woman knows

             how to work a man.

A man will conquer the world for woman. A man with woman friends has great pleasure. Woman was made for man. Man was made for woman.

Women do it to get men to do.

Men do it because they love women.

Oh woman, open up your pearly gates so I can view the righteousness that was given to you.

Women are so smart they are light years ahead of us. As woman and man have roles they fill with each other, so with God. Eve knew it was time to get out of the garden and do something.

She walked up to the tree and was deceived. One thing about being a help meet is they go before the man. They love men, man has been commanded to love women.

I think that when God removed Eve from Adam he lost his mind!

Adam went along and was willing because he loved her, so he took that bite. For that reason God made him the head. As man we have to bite the bullet. God kicked them both out because He had it all worked out. Jesus was slain even before the beginning.

Love To Love You Baby

It seems that the more I love women in an honest Godly way, the more love I get back. I just tell the truth.

I tell them what I think. After consideration I tell them what I feel is right and true and my support for them.

Sometimes I don't think about it because I know it is right. I don't want to say things to them that are clouded by judgment, but of things that are full of compassion and love.

I love to say things to them and look at their faces. Their faces speak a million words as they respond with love. The voice of love is such a thrill. The body movements, all of these things turn into a dance, a posture, a walk that communicates love.

I feel you baby! I love to love you. I come to you. You come to me. We are connected spiritually. You open up to me. You let me into your world.

Women are in control. But there is something I do for you. You don't know what it is but it helps. I'm only aware that I do it. I'm no god I am only a man who loves women.

My love for women grows stronger every day. You can feel it. You talk to me. Your are there for me. You lead me to higher ground. You want me around. I want you around. I come when you call.

I hear your cry. I feel your tug. I spend the time you have allotted to me with you, talking to you, listening to you, watching you, loving on you.

I do what you want me to do. I just want to be real with you. You give me good love. I had no idea it could be like this.

The love and openness I received from women the other day was so beautiful. I could only tell others I had a beautiful day. I couldn't tell them why. I didn't want to.

As I lay in my bed that night I had to play my favorite worship CD where I basked in the love of God. Somehow you and God are closely knit. I don't understand it. Why you love a Godly man.

I remember I heard this teen-age girl tell her girl friend that she doesn't like boys because they want to serve the devil. There is no love in that I'm sure of.

Some men are alright, but I get tired of fighting with them. But women, I love to love. I love what they give me. Can't nobody love like a woman.

I Feel For You Baby,

But I Have Needs Too!

I love to listen to what you have to say. You tell me what your needs are, as if I have the power to grant your wishes.

I appreciate your confiding in me. You asked me if you make me nervous when you act like a woman should. I said yes because it is good to feel that way. You satisfy a need in me.

I feel for you baby.

A lot of women want a man to love them. They want a man they can claim as their own. They don't want to just have sex. You know I love you, and I love all women.

I'm liv’n, learn’n, and luv’n on them. I do what I can to help see you through.

But I have needs too !

You tell me it will be alright. But sometimes I want some lov'n all night. A visitation from a star would be alright. I can't be that way with all the women in my life. It would cause all sorts of division and strife. I don't really want that kind of life. And I'm not looking for someone to be my wife.

So I guess hugg'n and a peck’n on occasion will have to do. Till some woman has mercy on me, and I feel it's the thing to do. There always seems to be a woman to be with or talk to. To give me some love, to see me through.

You Be Aching!

You asked me if I thought you were temperamental. I figured someone must have told you that and you didn't like it. I think you are Spiritually gifted, aware, and understand what is going on around you. The following is what temperamental means to me as it applies to what I understand about you.

T - is for all the shit you have had to take from people who have wanted to hold you back.

E - is for the Errors of their ways.

M - is because they are lucky you did not Melt down and let them know how you really feel.

P - is because you Privately do a work they don't understand.

E - is because Everything in your hand prospers.

R - is because you are Relieved when someone with understanding and discernment comes into your midst.

A - is because All you currently have is what you desire.

M - is because you are Mindful of the Lord who is your covering.

E - is because you know Everything is alright in spite of what they say.

N - Is because Nothing holds you back from what you desire to do.

T - is because you have, can, and will Take it. Your help will arrive on time.

A - is because you know that All things work out for good for them that love the Lord.

L - is for all the Love you give and receive.

So what does temperamental mean? It means that someone is noticeably excessive in their sensitivity, and that they have impulsive changes of mood.

What is excessive? It means to go beyond what some consider normal limits, to the degree too great for them to accept.  

What is sensitivity? To be responsive to impressions one senses, easily hurt or emotionally damaged, delicately aware of the attitudes and feelings of others, and aware of spirituality.

What is impulsive? To respond to some unusual unpremeditated action with a sudden spontaneous swift act of genius. A predisposition or natural tendency.

What is natural? Based on an inherent sense of right and wrong.

How do you feel about this definition? Often time’s people will try to project or introduce an idea or concept to another

individual, based upon their own perceptions about what life is all about, and what they believe in ignorance.

If you were to compare my definitions to a dictionary you will see I perceive things in a more positive light.

Some dictionary definitions cause great dismay and frustration, as you try and figure out what someone means when they use a word. Many words have multiple meanings. The English language is modified and even has become politically correct. And even that word was redefined in 1991.

If you ask someone what they mean they may not even tell you. It's like them elbowing you in the ribs. For this reason I find these types of words to be very offensive.

But please, don’t respond with words not allowed in this society. I think there are about five. They will drop the subject matter and jump on you now for using that forbidden word!

Now I Be Aching

Now I know why they call you the temperamental girl. Although I think that is too general and a category. They say you are moody, but I think you are a unique individual.

I don't know what your motive was for becoming a part of my life. That doesn't really matter to me. But you did a job on me, and I will never forget you temperamental girl.

Someone said you are not my wife. Why did I compare you to them? You even let me talk to your son. You said I was strong. You told me you had just come out of a bad relationship.

You said you did not want another. I gave you the gift you desired of me. What was that all about? I'm not too bright when it comes to women. I just follow along. I've only been injured once in the seventy's. And I think she wanted to teach me something.

Then you decided to go in the opposite direction. You asked me why you gave me your number. I did not know. I did not ask her for it. Then she got really hard on me. I just took it. I figured it was the least I could do for her.

Then you were good to me again. Somebody asked me if I was your bodyguard? I told him somebody has to look out for her! You made me say things. You made me do things. You came to visit me at my home twice. Just to make an appearance. The first time you said, "It's about time ..."

You looked so fine I almost died. The second time I was just as enthralled.  And you made sure others could see. You even changed your hair style and looked even more beautiful. You cut it short. That means something when a woman cuts her hair. She found a man.

You enamored me. You repelled me. You said you could not chase me away. You said you could make me cry. You made me come. You made me go. You made a product for me, when I would not buy one. You temperamental girl, what am I going to do without you?

Finally you set me up for a fall, so it seemed. Or were you signifying your soon departure. I was ready for you then too. Perhaps you used me again. You said, "You got me." Now I no longer see you in the spots I frequent. I no longer have to walk tippy-toe when I go there.

Can’t You Hear Me

A Knock’n And A Beg’n?

Can I come in?

I just want to talk to you.

I don't want to do you no harm.

I just want to be free to be,

And share with thee

If you have time for me.

Why settle for one

When you have the whole litter

To pick from.

A pet and play will get me through the day. I wonder how you'll let me know, when it is time to go. In the mean time let me enjoy this moment. Far and near you're always so dear. I feel your presence, you make it clear. I write about you because I want to know all about you I discover you as I write.

Even in my dreams you enlighten. You speak to me prophetically. Then I know what to do. I still have to check with you. To see if it is real and true.

I so want to believe the truth.

I love to hear it come from you.

It is a sweet savor to my ears.

I want to enjoy you through the years.

I love to hear the angels cheers.

You are all angels to me.

Resistance Is Futile

Women,

They are like the Borg to me.

Resistance is futile.

Once they lock on to me,

I'm no longer in control.

My body just goes.

In the direction I’m pulled.

They draw me from afar.

I don't resist.

I just let go.

Sometimes I try and sense,

Which direction to go.

Sometimes I just get up and go.

I seem to know when to go.

Sometimes I know where to go ahead of time. Sometimes I find out as I go. When I get there I know I'm in the right

place.

When I talk they draw the words out of my mouth. Even still, when I get there they test me.  I sometimes wonder, if I’m here don't they know? I have to prove myself. I don't even know how to do that. It is different with each of them. I guess I pass. Maybe they just want to hear what I have to say.

Sometimes they deliver me.

Sometimes they love on me.

Sometimes to receive love.

Resistance is futile.

Sometimes it is so subtle,

That I am surprised when I get there.

A woman told me that we are angels sent from heaven and will return one day. An angel is a messenger.

Often times an encounter of the Borg kind is to deliver a message. Many times I don't know what the message is. Sometimes I'm afraid I’m going to lose her after I deliver the message, or that it would change our relationship. That would be a shame, hurtful, and a loss. I'm on pins and needles till we talk again. I don't know what I met her for. I don't want to miss out on what could have been. Dealing with women is heart work. Theirs and mine.

I can't have a heart of stone.

A stone has no feeling.

I can't have a heart of glass.

It would shatter beyond repair.

I have to have a heart full of:

Love, Feelings, Compassion, Forgiveness, and Patience.

And if for some unspoken reason it is broken, I have to have a heart that can be unbroken.

I can't think of a better relationship to have with a woman other than the Borg kind. All I have to do is enjoy and go along for the ride.

I Can Live With You

I can live with you ...

I can't live without you.

The more of you the merrier.

You say it is my fault.

I say I take the blame.

I ask you why.

You say it is because I like it.

I say so that is how you think ...

I tell you I thought you needed someone to blame.

I have to watch what I say.

But sometimes it pops out of my mouth.

You like to set me straight.

All I can do is laugh it off.

The jokes on me too!

I love you.

So I do it on purpose.

To see what you do.

You respond like I expected you too.

I was ready for you.

So I told an experience to you.

Where I was tested to see if

I was true.

And you smiled.

Do you want to live with me?

Or do you want me to be free?

Perhaps just visit with me.

Happily

     Momentarily

Gingerly

     Frequently or infrequently

Quality

     Friendly

Sensually

     Intimately

Spiritually

    Sexually

You are so beautiful ...

I want to spend time with you.

I want to be around you.

I want to look at you.

I want to talk to you.

What ever you allow me to do,  Makes me happy.

Women Are From Venus?

I Don’t Think So...!

To say that woman are from Venus to accuse them of idolatry. The planet Venus is associated with the goddess Ashtoreth (a star) Ishtar. In the Bible,a  star is another name an angel. Could she be a fallen angel? Astarte was by many identified with the goddess Venus, or Aphrodite, as well as the planet by that name.

The worship of Astarte became identified with Venus. This form of worship was identified by unbridled sexual pleasure as a form of worship. It is similar to what if not the same as the purpose for temple prostitutes. Men would come and lay with a woman as part of the service to the god they worshiped.

That is what the difference is between sexual intimacy and idolatry. Rahab the harlot knew what sexual intimacy was but she did not do it for another god. She proved by her actions that she knew who the Living God is by helping and lying for the Hebrews spy’s safety. Jericho was destroyed and she ended up being Ruth’s mother-in-law.

I wonder why the author of, "Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus,” identified women with Venus? I wonder what Mars represents to men?

I am offended for women's sake. For sex was given to us by God not a false god or goddess. He gave it to us for our mutual enjoyment, and it is the ultimate therapy and a healer.

This can be discovered in male female relationships, if they take the time to get to know each other. Now this is to the glory of the Father, not something to be ashamed of. Even if we think we messed up, we need to recognize who the giver of sex is.

Maybe,

    I have To Believe You

I have a story to tell.

But no one to tell it to.

They don't believe that it is true. Or I could be boasting too.

Just listen to me.

Take the time I pray.

I just need you to stay,

With me and hear what I say.

Perhaps I just like to talk.

My fantasy life is all I got.

I'm a girl and I have my ways.

I don't have to be like others say. It's my mind to do with what I will. Somehow I hold it together still.

I survive and I travel too. I don't just want to stay home with you. You’re so dull and you don't know the way. Perhaps I'm so smart you can't do it my way.

Listen, I know what's on your mind. I have to defend myself and have a good time. If you treat me right I'll help you through. But you have to believe me. I believe you ...

If you know me and we can relate. We could spend time together and that would be great.

Strawberries

     And Whip Cream

Strawberries and Whip Cream.

You know what I mean.

Make me wanna scream!

Make me wanna dream.

Go to the video store.

The one I used to implore.

Perhaps to explore.

The one I adore.

It's been a long time.

For no reason or rhyme.

I'm just spending my time.

With the thoughts in my mind.

Sometimes I take a peak.

And I think they're just weak.

But they do reach a peak.

I don't know what to do.

Maybe I just need someone to talk about it to.

Or someone to do.

If a Woman

If a woman knows it is time to hightail it out of here, she will bite the apple, and a man will bite it too.

Ask Adam!

(Genesis 3:6)

If a woman want's to know your weakness, tell her. It's because you have a big job ahead of you.

Ask Sampson!

(Judges 16:4-30)

If a woman want's a man, he can get away with murder on her behalf.

Ask David!

(2 Samuel 11)

If a woman want's your head, she can take it.

Ask John the Baptist.

(Mark 6:21-28)

If a woman gives you a prophetic word you better believe her.

Ask Abraham.

(Genesis 21:10-12)

If a woman has to sojourn to a foreign land to bring back a treasure she will.

Ask Naomi

(Ruth 1:1-4,16; 3:9-22)

If a woman has to, she will wait until her time has come.

Ask Esther.

(Esther 2:8-10,17,20;

 3:8-11, 4:14)

When the LORD sends a Prophetess and Judge with a word from the LORD, even He want's her present at the battle.

Ask Deborah.

(Judges 4:5-9)

You Stole My Hot’s!

You stole my hot’s. I got some more

And you thru it on the floor.

You said you would provide.

But I already had some. Well, you took care of that little problem.

Now I'm out . . .

So you said it again.

I thought you wanted a token.

Perhaps I thought you were going somewhere. I've been collecting small items from lady friends so's I can remember them by. I guess I was just projecting.

You don't do the same things. You came at me from another angel. Why do women like to bus me up, sometimes? I hope you don't decide to ignore me. Or not show up when I think you should. No, I don't have it figured out.

I said, maybe I don't need no hot's. Again, you said you would provide.

I told my son he needs to listen to her.

I told him he doesn't know what he metaphor. And sometimes he doesn't know what harassment. For some reason he thought that was funny. I remember once I didn't listen to him. I got it then too.

A later thought came to me. In male female relationships a man doesn't know what he metaphor nor what harassment on sundry occasions.

And the same goes for women. They don’t know what his-ass-ment nor what she met-him-phor on sundry occasions. I guess the Lord made us that way so he would be included. Lord have mercy on us!

You finally told me "Doctor said I don't need no hot's." Ok, Ok, to clue the rest of you in I'm talking about Louisiana style hot sauce!

Your Love Is Fire, Ire, and Desire

Sometimes it is so intense!

Your delivery is like it is fired from an M16. Like Superman I have to catch each one, and throw something back at you. Not to quench the flame, but to let you know I'm whicha. I gotta let you know I hear what you are saying. You are all fired up.

It is my fault ...

You are the Queen of Sheba.

You are Cleopatra.

When you come into the room all eyes should be upon you. You come in and scope the room. You saw what I was doing.

You want no excuses.

You take no prisoners.

I finish what I'm doing.

I come to you.

Resistance is futile.

You go ...

Rat-a-tat tat.

Rat-a-tat tat.

I'm ready for you.

I throw back what you need.

Although I might bleed.

Someone else will clean it off the floor. You know I got others to feed. That does not stop the fire.

I'm sorry ...

You have to express it openly. Some call it Ire. That's because they don't understand what you do for me. I tell them that's why I keep you around. I tell them you gotta have a woman like that. You have a right to express yourself that way.

There is so much desire.

It's got to come out some way.

You are a Star. You are an Angel. You say they can't be any other way. I know what you can do. You tell me you never will.

I'm a bad boy ...

What am I supposed to do if I can't have you? I do what I do and hope you forgive me too.

You got fire.

You got ire.

You got desire.

It's my fault.

I'm sorry.

I'm a bad boy.

But you give me such a heart attack. And it's the kind I lack. I feel the affects when you leave the room.

You leave Kryptonite behind.

You're kill'n me baby.

You knock me out.

It's hard to recover.

In the mean time I'm a push over.

But when I get off the floor.

I come back for more.

And you're there for sure.

You make my plate full ...

You Don’t Have To

           Cause  Competition

 To Get My Attention  I’ll Just Give It To You

If I like you, I will let you know. I'm not afraid to let my affections show. At every opportunity I'll say what I can.

The things you like to hear from a man. I'm very astute, a listener, and a quick wit. I hear what you’re saying. It only takes a bit.

I'll respond with my heart. It's already prepared. What comes out I hope, let's you know that I cared.

You don't have to set up situations that cause me to speak, with another man you want me to compete.

You know I'll do it for a while.

But I'll step down when I see what's going on.

I don't like to be beguiled.

You just like to play. I like to play with women in a Non-competitive way.

If you want me, you know where to find me. I will always be around. You know the places where I can be found.

One on one is what I like.

Me and two or three or more is such a delight. But they have to be women who do not get uptight. For women know how  to treat a man right.

Some men know how to play and that's okay. I understand how you like to play with more than one man. Unless he knows, don't include me as part of the party.

Do you feel me baby?

Some men don't mind competing for the affections of a woman. I don't. And I've never been without.

Mary’s Momma Say’s

Mary said and did a lot of things that momma's just do for their boy's. Jesus was her boy. It was a special relationship.

1.  Jesus is only twelve years old. Mary came back for her boy and say's to him, "Jesus, you can't hang out with the fella's. You gotta come with us!"

Jesus say's to her, "But momma, I'm only doing what Dad had me do ?!?" She grab’s him by the ear and shakes it sore and say’s his name loudly, ”Jesus!!!” And he leaves with her and pop's.

2.  Jesus, His disciples, and His momma are at a wedding feast. Mary say's to her boy, "Jesus, they're out of wine." Jesus say's, "

But momma, it's not time for me to go public!" She tells his crew don’t listen to him just do what he say’s. So they do the miracle and he provided the wine, and Jesus and the crew don’t tell anybody what happened. What’s up with that?

3.  Mary brings the kids to one of Jesus' outdoor Church services. As He preaches he uses the occasion to use mom and the kids in his sermon.

Someone say's, "Hey Jesus, your momma, she’s calling you boy!" Perhaps thinking he was in trouble and had to go home.

Jesus say's, "Your my momma, you’re my daddy, you’re my brother, you’re my sister if you believe in me!" My momma did!  Momma was real proud of her baby boy.

4.  Mary's at the cross crying. They were crucifying her baby boy!

Jesus say's, "John, you take care of my momma for me, Ok? I got to go see dad for a while, but I’ll be back soon."

Is It Selective Amnesia,

   Or  Selective

             Memorization?

My first wife told me about 30 years ago that I have selective amnesia. That phrase has been part of my repertoire ever since.

It finally dawned on me the other day, that I don't have selective amnesia but selective memory. So I called her on the phone and left a message indicating such.

Then I realized I should have said selective memorization. Well I thought, I finally got things straight in my mind after all these years.

Then I realized that the way she described how my memory works is much better than how I just described it. In essence she said that I had the information stored in my memory banks, and chose whether or not to reveal it. Therefore I was being selective.

The way I phrased it, In essence I said some information was not in my memory banks, so I could not reveal it. Therefore in that particular area of interest I was ignorant.

Perhaps when people heard me use her phrase they understood what it meant, (even though I didn't) and thought I was either smart or a smart ass. I guess in this and many other respects she was a help meet.

This is one of the reasons I say in the story "Mary Is Woman from All Ages," that women are so smart they are light years ahead of us. Boy, here it is the year 2003 and I just got it!

Well now it is 2005 and I remember more and more. It’s like I have total recall. The information was in there and I had no control over pulling it out of my own head all these years but others seemed to pull what they wanted.

Now all I seem to do is brain dump all over the place. In the past and even now I don’t have any choice in pulling it out nor where. I think I’ll leave that kind of thinking to women. I still can’t tell it right.

Is This Wisdom?

               Is This Love?

Have you ever seen someone or know someone you want to be with, but you can't seem to get that monogamous feeling?

And that someone becomes so many that you want to commit polygamy? And visit them when they want you too? And always have a desire too?

Wherever they happen to be?

Spend time as they want it to be? Then move on to another to see? Even they come by because they agree?

You watch out for them, and They watch out for you, and We be happy?

Is this wisdom?  Is this love?

I’m Forgetful

I'm forgetful.

Why do I forget?

Do I have to?

How do I stop?

Don't make me stop ...

I can't help myself.

What are you doing to me?

I thought something was wrong.

But you say It's Ok anyway.

It will all come back in a flood.

Then what do I do?

In the mean time,

I just take it,

And take it.

And I don't like it ...

I got lips that don't speak.

I got ears that hear too much.

I got a lot of information to Process ...

I need a bigger computer,

To sort it all out

But I ain't got a dime.

By the time I buy one,

It will be obsolete ...

My thoughts are for me.

Can I share them with you?

Default Setting

I'm a romantic.

There is being romantic.

There is romanticizing.

There is loving and caring.

There is sharing and hearing.

There is accepting and respecting.

These are ways I communicate. 

These are the ways I relate with women.

There is no harm intended.

There are broken hearts to be mended.

Mine included ...

I just love being with you.

As men and women

Are meant to do.

As not many men

Have the gift to do.

Without them taking

Advantage of you.

For all intents and purposes,

I'm just loving on you.

It is yours to receive

If you want me to.

You are the one in control.

I just do what,

You want me to do.

But when I don't have too,

I seem to know when too.

And sometimes

I can't even do.

And that is okay too.

I just try to be true.

To my feelings toward you. Perhaps this is why

I'm not black And blue.

Or Black and blue ...

Maybe it is in my blood.

I told a lady friend,

It was my default setting.

She stepped back and fanned Herself.

I guess I got through.

I can't help it.

I’m Ever So Grateful

I'm ever so grateful -

For the things you do for me.

For making me part of your company. For sharing me with your friends and family.

For parting with such sweet memories. For coming on board in my time of need. For giving me someone I can believe.

For the hope that you will always be there for me. For being there when I need company. For loving me.

For opening up to me. For sharing your secret beauty with me.

I don't know why you do this for me. I get it and receive undeservingly. But I'm ever so grateful

Do I Just Imagine You?

I felt so strong that day.

I made a choice.

I had something to say.

And say it I did.

I was set free.

I felt love all the way home.

When I returned you were there. As if waiting for me.

And one other woman, we were two. We talked of women who are bodily real. I said I like the before. If that's the way she comes, then that's the way I like her.

Then there were three women. She said, why do you have them up against the wall? I said do you want some of this! She said do you want some of this!

You then invited me out to eat.

But it would have to be my treat. I thought how neat. That would be my treat.

I said I can handle three.

You slid your arm through me

Mmmmmmm ...

You were oh so sweet to me.

You knocked me off my feet.

You made me believe.

I had not received that much love, and affection in a long, long time. One of them said that is why he want’s you to come to his room. You took me totally by surprise. I did not expect love like this from you.

You took your own sweet time.

You read my mind. When you talked to me sometimes, I did not hear a word you said.

I just watched your face ...

You took me to another place.

You know I like to look at you.

Even though you don't like being stared at. Especially, up close and personal. Your face speaks a thousand words.

You spent time with me and played with me. You let me touch your body. You kissed at my ear. You had no fear. This you did so publicly. So others could see.

I felt so endeared.

But alas, again you disappeared. From you I don't know when I'll see or hear. You leave me only with a memory. Perhaps today you just rewarded me. And perhaps that is why you won’t be alone with me. You won’t take all of me.  Angel of mine ...

Do I just imagination you?

Au Natural

Full'a figg'a ...

      Small breasted ...

Beautiful eyed, tan ...

        Pretty faced ...

Full of life ...

          Lovely big white teeth ...

Large open smile so bright ...

She let her hair go free ...

No longer hide'n ...

Natural, Au natural ...

She talks to me.

As Diva's be.

I recognized she.

She opened up to me.

I love it,

When women do that to me.

She's no profile'ee.

I tell'a, candy is dandy,

But lick'a it's quick'a !

I tell'a, think about it.

A short time later.

Those eye's look at me.

She say's, I've got candy.

I have to think long time ...

Day's later in my room.

Late at night I think ...

Is she sweet or what!

She is good and Au Natural plenty.

Sour Cream and

                Brown Sugar

Sour Cream and Brown Sugar.

Dip the brown sugar into the sour cream.

I'll be your Brown Sugar.

You'll be my Sour Cream.

If I could only dream.

It's got to be more than it seems.

It's in the bag. You don't know what I had to do to get you. It wasn't easy ...

You had to lead me.

And I had to tell you how.

Now we both know now.

So what do we do with it?

It happens!

And when it does I hope I'm prepared for what happens afterwards.

I don't have a lot of time on my hands to commit. I'm in transit. I hope you don't mind. We could spend some time, again and again.

We can agree when. But we both know that it won't happen when we expect it to. That's what makes it great!

Come over tonight.

Don't say no.

Just don't show if you can't.

I need the thought and memory.

Sometimes that's all I can get...

Women Are Part of My Prayers

I can get up in the morning by the grace of all mighty God. I can say my prayers according to His tender mercies.

I can sing unto Him the praise He so deserves because of what He has done for me.

I can worship at His feet because He has opened the door to His throne room.

I can do this all the day long never being through. He causes me to. But even in the midst of what I do for Him, I do for you. That honors Him too.

You will never let me forget I'm a man. And I will never let you forget you are a woman.

I think about you all the time.

Like the Lord you are always on my mind.

I need you as the air I breath.

You are always there. You never leave.

When I enter your presence, it is heavenly bliss. When you are not around I truly miss.

I open my eye's to see. You are there and my heart jumps with glee. And I know there is more in store for me, because you prepare me.

It's a woman thing. And I love you.

Exercise Prophets

Who ever said that exercise profits only a little has not walked around the lake on a Satur Day. All the honey's exercising, profits them, and all the honey's exercising profits me.

Well, one I guess would be a little but many, hey, it's a great profit! I guess if that is the case, then my exercising by walking around the lake does more than profit me a little.

Or perhaps it has been so long that any profit seems like a lot. Is that what it means when a little becomes a lot when placed in the Masters hands?

If I get any less I'll be rich indeed! Well, I really did not mean to go that way. I canst take no less for much longer. Maybe I can.

Perhaps that is what it means that I can do all things in Christ Jesus who strengthens me. Well, it has taken a lot of strength to walk around the lake, and just look at my reward. 

O what joy and peace of mind! Speaking about piece! Maybe I shouldn't go that way right now. That ain't happening right here. But there is peace. Well anyway, somebody's piece just went by. Piece be with you and upon you my brother!

All things in there proper time and place...

Women Designed

By God’s Own Artistic Hand

I am not talking about a tattoo artist. I am not talking about the painter Pablo Picasso or Rembrandt. I am not even talking about abstract artistry. Am I?

I am talking about a visible work of art. Unique in design even more so than the individual. Not as many as snowflakes. And there is only a limited edition. They are rare. Hard to find. They have to come to you.

They won't show you all the artistry bestowed upon them. At least I have never seen them in the places I have been. And I have been around.

Perhaps you have to be able to appreciate the artistry. You have to know that it is. You never see them with others. Only individually.

There is no photograph collection of them. They won't go on display. They are for private viewing only. Unless they choose to come out and "Flash!"

Your eye's open up and you see the beauty before you. But it is just like them. Just for a moment. It is hard to even write about them.

God takes out His artist pen every once and a while. He takes His time with them. He holds up His artist thumb before His creation. And when he is inspired He paints on her body a unique design.

Then He sets His palette down for a while, until He is inspired again. The rest of the family may be different shades like the rest of us, but she is a work of art.

A Woman Said I Was

  A Thief …

Am I ???

Well, I could not help but steal some the lyrics from a song on the CD entitled "The Kiss" by Trin-i-tee 5:7 and reword them. If I ever get published I will give the girls the credit they deserve.

They broke my heart the way they sang it, and who they were singing about, Jesus. And they also gave me strength to go on. The way I rewrote the lyrics can be sung with multiple meanings in mind.

Yes I know.

    Why you tell me that you love

     me.

And I know.

    Why you stay with me for so

    long.

        (Say that you love me.)

To get close.

    To my heart so you can love

    me.

And then you made a way

Close enough to my face

So I could be with you for ever.

To stay with me every day.

And to greet me with a Spiritual kiss.

How Beautiful

   Are Thy Breasts

How beautiful thy breasts there upon thy body protrudeth. Speak to me with words that cannot be uttered. The joy of the Lord, you share with me. Honey suckle sweet.

A treat to the eye. Covered yet uncovered. Protruding peaks of promise. Protruding peaks with protruding peaks at sundry times. To remind me. To enjoy me. To employ me. To tell me that you love me still. To give me O such a marvelous feeling that I won't cheapen with a single word.

Your breasts speak a multiple of words:

Trust, Love, Happiness, Beauty, Joy, Comfort, Strength,

Motherhood, Youth, Maturity, Pride, Dignity, Identity, Help.

They give me strength joy, pleasure, excitement, purpose, and happiness.

Your breasts are a gift. I'm so glad you share them with me. You make me feel so special, so blessed when you do that to me, for me. It lifts my spirit. All is not lost. They give me hope.

Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me. A million, zillion words. And you do it for me alone. Perhaps for others as well. But I thank you for my time. The time your breasts give me. Honey suckle sweet to me. I guess I can hold on. I do know why they appeal to me so much. And I do know what they promise. They be so good to me.

More tasty than an Ice Cream Cone. The touch o-o-o the touch. The consistency. Pleasant to the eye. Behold they smell so sweet. Bury my face so deep. My hands have not held anything else so dear. Your response is what I long to hear, to see. To watch you do what you do with them. Entice me.

Present them to me. Encourage me. Excite me. Present your face. Present your booty. Present your legs. Present your eyes. Present your toes, especially when painted. Present your fingers, especially when manicured. Present your lips with that color. Present your torso. Present your hair do, any way you want to.

A woman’s hair is her manifested glory. Let it fall down on me. Speak to me as I view you from the aft. Speak to me as I view you from the fore.

O woman, I will take all of you. I'm only focusing on your breasts, not at the absence of the rest. Sometimes I love them the best, until you show me something else. O woman, how magnificent you are. A gift from God to me.

There is nothing else physically that can visually satisfy me equally. My eyes are always drawn to you. How delightful you are.

And of course, and not at all the least, present your voice. Like soothing waters. I don't even have to see you, and you do things to me. Present your look. The totality of what you do to present yourself.

To be enjoyed and admired. To be appreciated and commented about. To be commended for this beauty you are. With my words, with my eyes, with my reactions. Thank you for sharing with me.

Some Call It

         Cellulite

Have you ever played with Silly Cellie? She be silly, she be fun. Lotsa stuff to do with. Shake um. Love um. Move um around. How profound. Nev'a thought of that before. She had to show me as she passed my way. Who da silly one after all.

She do got all that and more. I wonder what else is in store. She be woman, don't you know?  Why do you want one from the store? That's ok, but what about Silly Cellie? O, you left her for me. Thanks ! I don't like to miss nutt'n. She got Silly Cellie and bang! I like dat ...

Whats a fella to do. Get on my silly celly and call Silly Cellie. What you blind? Maybe Silly Cellie don't want you. I'm so glad I can see...

What’s A Telephone,

    Bill?

Push me around will ya ...

You are coming true.

Telephone call to confirm it too.

Just don't know what to do.

It's just a telephone call.

It's just E-mail.

Naw, no E-mail.

It ain't the same.

No connection.

Forget about ya.

I can hear you.

I can feel you.

There is no distance or time.

I won't leave you behind.

You're stuck in my mind.

I don't know what to do. And,

I'm tired of saying it is not up to me. When you know it is up to you.

Two ships at dock ...

It has got to be more than bread and butter. I want to say more when we pass each other.

O brother.

Can I take you?

Will you come?

Somewhere ...

We're already here.

There ...

I believe it too.

What's there to do?

Anything you want to.

You Know How Fine

          Wine

              Is Made …

You know how fine wine is made don't you? A husbandman goes out to his grapevine, and selects the grapes he knows will produce the desired results. He has a gift of discerning one grape from another. He picks this one, and this one, and leaves the other.

He then throws the grapes into a vat, and proceeds to jump up and down on them. The skins and seeds are removed, leaving only the juice that he discerned. He knew that part had to be removed for it served its purpose, and has no value for the future of the wine he will produce.

The husbandman is not through yet though...

So he adds something to the juice that remained, that causes it to ferment. After the fermentation process is complete he ends up with a new substance.

This process produces a new substance that has color, and body, and richness. This new substance now produces an intoxicating affect. This new wine affects the person that drinks thereof. Thus fulfilling the purpose the husbandman desired.

Fine Wine

            Tasting

I used to go wine tasting in Napa Valley. The key to wine tasting is to not consume too much from any one bottle. If you do you will quickly become intoxicated. Then you will not be able to consume anymore wine.

To have a woman is like that, to consume the wine in the wine bottle, and to be consumed by the wine in the wine bottle.

To be a wine taster, on the other hand, is to know not to consume, but to savor the substance instead. You then clear your palette, and you are ready to taste the next bottle. You will find that each bottle has its unique flavor.

Perhaps one day, if it is to be, I will find a bottle that wants to be consumed, and consume me. I'll so be intoxicated by just the savor; I will have no choice but to purchase it.

A fine, rare, wine is like that. I have consumed, and have been consumed by two bottles already. It is worth the wait for another, if there is one.

In the mean time, I truly enjoy wine tasting the many varieties that are available. And there are some bottles that have made themselves available to me, to be tasted again and again.

When I Love A Woman

I don't just want to have sex with a woman. I want to love a woman. The first time, it's okay. But after a while, when we get to really know each other, when we are comfortable with each other, if it is right, then it is good. And it gets better.

I want to stay with her. And love her again and again. When ever she wants to. When ever I want to. If I can. I try to keep up. She's got the best of me.

When I can satisfy her need that is good love to me. I hope I do. She won't always tell me so. She's loving me. If she asks me what I want her to do and I can't answer, she loves me and I love it.

When I try things that I somehow know she wants, I love her. When I try things and she relaxes and enjoys, I love her.

I don't choose her, she chooses me. Somehow we agree.

In Not Pursuit

In pursuit of a mate.

In pursuit of a date.

What does she have

                   to offer me?

Had one, had one,

                   don't want one.

But that has no face!

Been there, done that.

See one when I want one.

             They make me come.

              We only have fun.

Gave up the drama just to be with me.

I don't know what I want.

So don't ask me.

          I take what she gives me.

And I don't ask for more.

              She will provide.

Whosoever will.

                Let her come.

So who needs a date?

Who needs a mate?

         Something to contemplate.

         Put this one on your slate.

Did I Lose It?

I like to write things down.

As they come to me.

Sometimes I lose it ...

She was standing in the store.

And she had a little more.

I was drawn to look up close.

Her face was out of place.

Having seen her before.

When I got home to the shower, I began to feel her awesome power, as I began to formulate, a prose in my mind.

I hoped it would not be lost. Be lost and left behind.

I've been thinking of buying a recorder. But in this case it was out of order. For I could not make it play in the shower. I guess she said, "I don't need a recorder. Write what you can when you can."

Any way,

I'll try to recite with all my might. What I formulated in my head. Let's see what comes out instead. Sometimes a sound mind just won't do. What does that mean anyway?

Why did you look at me like dat?

Why did I look back at you like dat?

Why did you walk away like dat?

You never did that before.

Do you love me or something?

Did you love me or something?

Did I have to check with you or something?

Did you want to tell me something?

Why did you walk away like dat?

Well,

I got my answer quick. They did not have the talking recorder.

I can't even order.

Come back another day?

And face her again?

Maybe, under different circumstances. It pays to listen to a woman.

I Feel Heartbreak

              All The Time

I feel heart break all the time...

Could it be all the women

Of mine?

Treat me with love

And leave me behind?

Making a permanent mark

On my mind?

I go someplace

Hoping to find?

But she's not there.

O that heart of mine ...

Married Twice And

      I Made Big Mistakes

I made big mistakes.

And I liked it so much,

I made the same mistake twice.

I kept on making mistakes,

And she kept on correcting me.

Until I made one mistake too many. I did not know she was making a list. Until she gave it to me.

I read it,

And it might as well have been written, In another language,

For I did not understand a one.

She gave me an odd look and ask for the list back. So I gave it to her and that was that.

No more mistakes.

I think I’ll be careful not with the next one too.

He Found Love …

I saw this Vietnamese silent movie that explained how he found love quite well.

This man was a photographer. And he met, one day, this beautiful woman. Oh how he loved her. He would take picture after picture of her.

One day she asked if she could come into his dark room and learn how to develop film. After several promptings he finally gave in and started to show her how it was done.

All of a sudden the chemicals slipped out of her hands, and splashed in her eyes. She was rushed to the hospital where the doctor treated her and informed her that she would be permanently blind.

He was so hurt. He felt responsible for the accident. He could no longer be in her presence for the shame. He could not be in her presence for the love he had for her. They could no longer share those precious moments together again. So he left.

Time passed and proved the doctor to be wrong. She recovered her eyesight 100%.

One day, she happened upon a lake, and there was her love afar off. Her heart jumped for joy. But as she approached him she noticed he had a white cane. Her love had blinded himself.

She did not come any closer. She did not speak to him. She then walked away never to see him again. He had found love. And so had she.

Miss’n Um

What do you do when you start miss'n. Never had a chance to start kiss'n. All you did was a lot of bliss'n.

When do you get to see um?

When do you get to be wit um?

When do you get to talk to um?

But you still feel um.

But you be miss'n um.

And you be hurt'n.

Then the moment subsides.

Like the movements of the tides.

Looking for the next wave.

Still waters run deep and are peaceful. Waves cause much turmoil. Perhaps that is why it is more fun at the shallow end. That is where the waves come crashing upon the shore of your heart. And in the tide pools amongst rocks you can look at your memories.

Women, You Are

          A Mystery

Women

You are a mystery.

And do I love a mystery.

To never know from day to day,

What you will do,

What you will say.

I just hope you always do.

You're full of joy.

You're always new.

You are the best mystery

I've ever viewed.

There was no mold made for you.     Author ! Author !

There's no telling,

And there's no end.

There is nothing to do

But to give in.

I’m Wearing My Gray

I'm wearing my gray.

It is that kind of day.

The sky is not blue.

I don't know if the forecast is true.

But I feel gray.

Cloudy.

The clouds are filled with water.

Ready to spray, It doesn't have to be a sunny day, For me to go outside and play.

I've got gray,

For this kind of day.

It's raining,

It's pouring,

The old man is snoring.

I'll go outside and be besides myself.

I once was a child. But, I have not put away all my childish ways.

I'm just dressed in new clothes.

Splish, splash,

I can't get wet for real.

It's a new deal.

I'm all grown up.

We don't play that way do we ...

No tell'n,

He may wake up and want a wet one.

A Part of My Heart

My heart aches when I hear your name.

Because I know I can't see you.

You are deep within my heart.

Your name brings it to the surface.

I think of you night and day.

In a way you are with me.

Some how today,

Someone mentioned your name.

They know how I feel about you.

You know how I feel about you.

You even make sure,

You are not forgotten.

I relive the moments.

We didn't even do much,

But it was so much,

For each of us,

That doing much can't claim.

I'll never be the same.

It just takes the mention,

Of your name.

All you wanted to do,

Is be a part of my heart.

Keep playing games with my heart,

Dear heart.

I knew it right from the start,

Dear heart.

You are my girl,

And you always will be.

You are a big of a part of me.

Woman you are so luv-a-ly.

In anticipation and longingly.

I'll wait to see,

If you'll visit me.

Mostly,

I See’s Candy

Women like to emphasize what they think are their better parts.

I just like to watch and enjoy.

I do not have any ploy.

Whatever they show is fine with me.

Each woman is a delicacy.

Like a Sees candy assortment,

I enjoy the variety.

I appreciate that she would even show me. I know it is not a one-way street.

They also want to know where my heart is. Do I love them or am I just a fake.

What am I willing to do to prove to them.

Each one I meet.

To be received of them.

To be worthy of their time.

If but a fleeting moment.

They are a treasure trove divine.

Mostly,

I see's Candy though.

I Think About

            These Women

I think about these women.

They be on my mind.

Just one at a time.

The ones I love.

The ones I like.

The ones I know.

The ones I meet.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what else to do.

And I'm glad about it.

Women of Essence

       God’s Perfect Nectar

You talk like I do.

Women in the singular sense Nectar. Nectar is a substance. Men don't have nectar.

It is something hoped for.

It is something desired. It is something that can't be possessed.

It is something I can't obtain.

It is something that can't be part of me. It is something I can only hope for or desire.

But I see much evidence of it. I see women. If you want to see faith, if you want faith, you need women. Look in any Church and you will see who has faith. There are more women than men in Church, hands down.

Women of essence are designed that way. They have substance. Faith is a substance. As men, women are what we hope for; Substance, nectar.

Perhaps your diaries talk about you. Perhaps your diaries are too much for me to handle. Perhaps you really want me to know, if I just make the effort. Perhaps you want me to pay with my heart.

What I do know is that women of essence, God's perfect nectar, Instill hope in me. And if I ever attain all that I hope for, I would have no more hope. And a life without hope is vain.

Women of essence, God's perfect nectar, a substance of things hoped for, an evidence of things not seen.

Is Not An Act

I know, I know,

Making love to you is not an act.

It becomes a fact when we react.

Thunderings, Lightnings,

Extremely excitings,

Melodramatic,

       Empathetic,

            Auto-inclinatic

                   Climatic.

I'm drawn to you.

You are drawn to me.

Explosions bursting forth,

Without any disruptions.

Then it is over. Until ...

The next time we see each other.

Think about one another.

Touch each other.

From a distance.

Ecstasy, Momentarily.

Again and again.

Love to love you baby.

Like that.

I really don't understand it.

Sometimes it is for me.

Sometimes it is for you.

Alltimes it is for both of us.

I don't even know what I do.

I just know I can't help myself.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Someone said this is how it is supposed to be. Someone said that is what you do to me. Someone said it is a beautiful thing.

Why Did

 She Say To Me

Why did she say to me ...

Why do you keep blessing me?

When I treat you so bad?

Why do I keep going back for more? Why does she show up sometimes when I think not about her?

Why does she talk to me?

Why won’t she talk to me?

Why does she make me do the things I do for her? I should never have shown her my Achilles heel.

I should never have bitten the forbidden fruit. I should never have let her shave my head. I should never have killed Uriah.

I should never have told her about myself. But she asked me to! I guess I need someone like her too.

Why do I do, what women ask me to? I wouldn't have it any other way ...

ShitNikky

I think one of the most pleasurable encounters I have had was when I met "Trauma Momma." Trauma Momma was a woman that caused me so much emotion stress that I stayed in a disordered psychic and behavioral state, without causing me physical injury, because she loved me. And everybody around we two could see it. We knew we couldn't be.

They knew what she was doing to me. They became a part of it too. They felt and needed the love too. She had a lot to give. She chose this moment in time to give it. For some reason she decided to give it to me, through me. But it was hard on me, and I loved it. I was the object of her expression.

It did not last for twenty minutes and then it was over. I don't have to do anything to experience it again. All I have to do is think about it to relive it.

I'm glad I wrote about Trauma Momma. I've only met one, that Strong, that Positive, Unidirectional, with a climatic ending.

She came to the restaurant where I always dine. For the first time she touched me physically. She put her hands on top of mine, and she looked me straight in my eye's and said, "We have nothing going on."

My face almost landed in my plate. Satisfied she walked away. And I never saw her again, although I saw someone who knew her. I thanked him and asked him to thank her.

More details of this story are in my files, and when I read them, they trigger those in my mind. This one woman in particular, I don't want to share. Everything that went on between us is extremely confidential. Maybe one day I will be able too when I get over the trauma.

Theirs Was This Man?

There was this man. Over his lifetime he built this multi-million dollar empire. He had sired several children, had several grandchildren, and a few great grandchildren.

He had a couple of wives in his lifetime as well. But now at the age of eighty, one wife had divorced him, and the other had passed on. So he decided to marry, one last time.

He wanted a beautiful young woman, one that would remind him of the good times, and even of the better times. One that knew she was a woman, and would not let him forget he was a man. One that was not ashamed of her womanhood. One that knew what it is to be all woman. One that knew how to please a man.

One that would share her womanhood with him, one that knew about intimacy, one that could emote, one that would make his last days as pleasurable as his previous wives

had pleased him. And in return for all of this love and affection he would leave her, his love, his entire estate.

When he eventually died, his children contested the will. They claimed the woman coerced this man into marrying him. They claimed that he was not competent to make a will at the age of eighty. They claimed they were worthy of his inheritance and his wife was not. They claimed he and his wife were not married long enough. He died at age eighty-three.

What we don't know is what he provided his family with all of their lives. He may have given them millions already. What we don't know is why he didn't provide trust funds or other means of support irrevocable. He had his whole life to do so. He had already proven his competence by earning the millions.

Maybe he had seen how they were with money and decided they were better off without it. Maybe he felt he had given them enough already. Maybe he felt he had done more for them than more money could, and that was to prepare them for life, and the life thereafter.

But alas, he gave all he had to a woman who fulfilled his fantasies. Who made his last days much more enjoyable than his children could ever hope to do. There is nothing like the love of a woman, who knows how, and does treat you like you love to be treated, or never were before. He gave his all, and she gave her all.

Perhaps his children thought all of their lives theirs was this man, and his money. God bless the child that’s got his or her own.

You Keep Running In

   And Out

       Of My Life

There was this song in the 70's entitled, "You Can't Keep Running In And Out Of My Life." It was about a man and his relationship with his woman.

Recently,

I find myself using the same phrase to describe my relationship with women period these days.

In the last year and a half I have met and had relationships with a lot of women. I've been there with them. They let me  into their personal lives. They touched my heart. They have been there for me. They gave me drama. They gave me love.  

They were what I needed when I needed it. And I don't know why they did this for me. I just showed up. I just did what I could.

And I find myself saying today, more so the last part of the song than the first, "… running out of my life!"

So many have said their goodbye's in a way's that were that were plain to me, if after the fact, which was usually the case. I guess they had to move on. Or I had to move on. I learned years ago what "It's Over" means.

The problem for me is that in the process I have gathered all this moss! And I can't scrape it off. Moss gets all into the crevices of a rock. I am not like a smooth stone!

Smooth stones are used for skimming the water. I have been in deep waters. I have so many nooks and crannies in me I'll never be cleaned or smoothed. And I want it that way.

They will always be a part of me. And I am not like a rock made of a hard substance. I can feel the moss all over me. And I keep collecting it. I can't help it. So I cry the first part of the song as well, "You can't keep …"

To be honest, I don't really mind the first part, but sometimes the second part kills me. And I have to sing a third part, another song from the same period, "Why did you have to go away?"

I even asked a woman after just a short encounter, will I ever see you again? She said no. I even miss her. All I can do is think about them one at a time. But sometimes it seems like I feel them all.

I remember when I was a boy my dad took me to Exposition Park and showed me the public garden. There was row upon row of beautiful flowers. No one was allowed to pick them. They were there for everyone to see, smell, experience and enjoy. He only took me there one time, and I never went back on my own.

Perhaps I finally returned to Exposition Park ...

Chumming With The Chum

        I Chum With

I am Chumming with the chum I chum with, and I am not using any hooks.

In hopes of obtaining a chum,

In hopes of getting hooked by chums, in hopes of being invited to chum.

I may just make some women happy. I may just teach others to do the same.

Chumming teaches me.

It is a way to speak to many at the same time. It is a way to reach their hearts. My chum is from what women teach me.

Chumming makes me want to get some more chum. I can always find a chum. It makes me have a lot of chums.

It is an act of giving.

It is a time of sharing.

It comes from the chum in my heart.

Chumming just causes me to have more chum.

She said she would be my chum.

And because of her I call it Chumming.

A lady friend said to be a friend is important most of all.

So I took up Chumming. To gather all the chums I could.

I did?

Did I?

Or have I been chumming all along?

Some Capricorn’s & Me

Capricorn women - there is nothing subtle about them. They will tell you or let you know in certain terms exactly what they are going to do or might do.

Once you become aware of that you know what they are going to do or might do in spite of what they say. They will tell you what they want from you and what they want you to do for them. They have no problem telling you.

They expect a lot out of a man. They expect to receive a lot from a man and will be direct about it. They are also capable of manipulation if that is what's called for to get what they want.

A Taurus male is compatible with a Capricorn woman, for he does not mind her directness. He does not mind the many tasks she has him perform because he likes to keep busy. For him the end is just the beginning.

He will toss it all away for the chance to do more. He enjoys the memory of the many things he has done. He enjoys the pleasure he brings to others. And she has no problem creating a new list. Creating lists is what she likes to do.

He can stubbornly refuse her wishes if he chooses to. This causes much grief for her for it is rare when he does so, and she likes having her way. That is because he allows her to have her way with him most of the time. When he doesn't she thinks something is wrong with him. Why all of a sudden has she lost her control over him she begins to ponder?

Perhaps when she comes to her senses she realizes that she has become problematic. She will then gives him some space. He knows when he has reached his limit. He is fully aware of what she is doing.

Even though she tells him about herself, she seems surprised, and inquires as to why. It is an interesting relationship. By the way, this is not something I got out of an astrology book. This is from practical experience. Although I was told or read that we were compatible, I don't remember which.

I can't even say that all Capricorn women are like this. Other women are like this to some extent as well. Asking a woman her sign went out of style years ago. Although I was asked by a couple of lady friends and they said no wonder, and then began to treat me like one.

I’m not sure but I think it took some of the fun out of our relationship. Perhaps all this time they were trying me to find out. Bulls are not too bright. Have you ever seen a bull fight?

They always lose.

Recently after talking to a woman for about a year, and her birthday passed, I asked her was she a Capricorn. She replied yes and I said to her no wonder! I've gotten older and wiser and I think I know what to do now without tripping over my feet.

I was trying to figure out how to write about them and the only way I can at this point is to also be direct. If one like this should read this she just might agree with what I have written.

Or perhaps I am really writing about women and me. Now you know why I appear to have horns.

At The Beach

          Like grains of sand on the beach.

They can be warm and soothing to the touch.      As on an afternoon day

After the sun has rained upon them.

They can be cool as in the evening.

A delightful feeling.

But you can't hold on too long.

They become uncomfortable.

Perhaps to lay something upon the sand. Providing the extra warmth.

They can be as cold as the dead of night, freezing to the touch.

Wrap yourself in a blanket.

Just to be around them.

And they can be hot and scorching.

As at the high point of the day.

When the temperature is most extreme.

It is not always like that at the beach.

The bare skin cannot come into close

proximity to them without hopping from one foot to the next.

In some cases it is better to just vacate.

Till the weather changes.

Till things cool down,

Till things are more inviting.

Sometimes a beach,

Just wants to be a beach ...

Nosey

She came into this world,

Perhaps a little too nosey.

With the gentle touch of a few fingers or a hand, she felt the reprimand.

But she never took it personally.

So by the same profession,

They made a confession,

To give her more leeway.

For a while her eyes were askew, She just had to go through. And She did not take it personally. 

Over the years she continued to be nosey. Because, that is who she is!  When you looked at her you could not deny. And she did not take it personally.

Once more they had to confess,

It was really their mess and tried to make a clean break of it.

Now she's ever so nosey,

And probably thinks:

I'm so glad they chose me!

For I'm ever so nosey

Even a bit posey

And pretty as can be.

I've been watching her nose.

For all of her years, and I was moved to write this prose, if just for her ears .I am proud of how she took it. She is but one of my four sisters who are gifted.

We Three

I have this big burden,

That I want you to share

I will not be here

And I want someone to care.

It's too big for many

And can't be for just one

For the two of you

I had to come.

It was hard on me

Both of you know

It was time to leave

It was time to go.

But you'll never forget me

Perhaps you'll see me around

You know who I am

You that I'm found.

There are things you must do

And things you must see

I had to prepare you

Like he prepared me

That's all that I had

For my legacy

We three ...

She was one of us.

It’s A Created, Creative

     Family Affair

You’re somebody else's girl. I even told him women expect something different from me at my age. You will see. She's got a lot to see. He's got a lot of personality, such a lovely couple. I take time to relate. I can't even escape. And I don't want to for that is what I do.

To participate causes her to elate and him to be a guarantee. Got to help them along cause they got to be strong. Some of us keep a watchful eye. It takes a lot to fill needs. Each plays a different heart.

What they need the most is people with heart, with love and compassion even emotional transgressions, and to be vulnerable on the spot. With her man on her side, they will both survive having received a lot.

Having people who know you, not trying to control you, but helping you along your way, each of us learning, each of us yearning, for greater parts to play, not only in your life, but in other people’s lives, as we see what we have accomplished, you being the living proof.

Our family is being created, and we are being creative, as we tend to our family affairs.

She Devil

 And Beauty Queen

She Devil and Beauty Queen,

like heckle and hide she's my kind of bride, if I were to be Frank about it. She is a creation of my own lack of ability to comprehend her.

I go in expecting to find,

and find out I'm out of my mind. For a day or so I thought she left me behind. I did not know it was 10/31. I guess I was looking at the wrong calendar.

For the beauty queen popped her head out. And again I had to drag myself out. What do you do when your bride, Is a She Devil and Beauty Queen?

Full of heckle and hide?

You take the good.

You take the bad.

You take the ugly

And you get real cuddly,

And try not to look too smugly.

Sonyata

          Not

             Sonata

I don't love you.

I never did.

I always won’t.  

            The sun is not shining.

            The sky is not blue.

            The ocean does not roar.

It does not rain.

It does not snow.

It does not hail.

             I can not walk.

             I can not talk.

             I can not see.

You are not for real.

You are not beautiful.

You are not my type.

    You have no love for me.

    You have no time for me.

    You have no satiation for me.

I will never know,

If you love me so,

Or if you ever did.

My African Queen

She is my African Queen.

Do you know what I mean?

                                 No.

She is my African Queen.

Do you know what I mean?

                                 No!

She is always so clean.

She is always on the scene.

She don't treat me mean.

               She is beautiful

                      wonderful

                      wholesome

                      and more ...

bountiful

plentiful

but she won't be my _____

                                 What?

   She is so fine

       She makes me blind

   I can't have her

       But she is all mine

She is big

She is strong

       But she won't come along

And I am glad she made me

part of her program.

I Love All Those

                Moving Parts

Those women got

Those lips, those hips,

Those eye's, those thigh's,

Those finger's, those toes,

Those legs, those nose,

Those butts, those busts,

Those nipples,

Those stomachs, those navels,

Those pocket books,

That I don't know what!

That hair, that stare,

That wiggle, that jiggle,

That strut,

Did I say butt ?

I do know what.

I love all those moving parts ...

Poor Folk And

               Pretty Women

Poor folk like us can't get pretty women like you to save our lives. Do you think that I just want to ride in your nice new car? All I really want to do is spend some time with you.

Your vehicle could be a means to take us where you want to go. As for me, we really don't have to go that far. And we don't have to spend much time in your pretty new car.

Now that I no longer have all those amenities, having downsized my economy, I take care of business, and keep it in the black. And, having lived in both worlds, I can go with you or take you back.

We can be together either here or there. The weather doesn't matter, I don't have a care. In your presence we will be aware, if circumstances are taking us somewhere.

We don't have to be at a here, or go to a there. It is time with you that I want to share.

I have a life chocked full of experiences, and I am hoping you will find, the treasures buried deep within my mind.

Perhaps the problem is not really you at all, and everything I have written about you is made out of whole cloth. I just don't know how or where to begin, nor how to progress any further.

She, Is Goooood Grief !!!

She, gives me a heart attack.

She, always knows what I lack.

She, has the ability to make my knees weak. She, without a punch, knocks me off my feet.

She with a look won't let me speak. She, can even leave Kryptonite behind. She, has that kinda Kryptonite Behind.

She, is so dynamite she blows my mind. She, is in my thoughts, and I feel her too.

She, doesn't want me to stare at her. She, can feel me staring at her. She, can only handle so much staring. She, knows how much I care for her. She, has issues that she must contend with. She, says it's my fault I contend with her.

She, is so fast she leaves me exasperated. She, is so strong she leaves me perplexed. She, makes me fly high in the sky. She, then say's to me good bye.

She, makes me want to catch up with her later. She told me if we ever did get together the other men would get mad. She, said she never stayed in one place this long. She, and I one day we each went our separate ways.

She, and I will always be together.

She, is goooood grief ...

Even now.

Just Thinking of You

Hi,

Just thinking of you, and a hot tub for two. I thought I'd say hi, I haven't seen you for a while. I'd like to see more of you. Perhaps that is why I called.

If you don't cross boundaries you can't get anywhere. Sometimes they are there to be crossed, if someone would just take the chance. Sometimes boundaries are moved back a bit as one allows a bit more. Some call that leading.

If I run into a barrier I can't cross I just stop. I just wait. And I stay at the boundary that I have now discovered. How else would I know just how close I can get without crossing the limit? I believe what you say. It is not safe to assume otherwise.

Perhaps I'll see more of you. I hope you are not cross. I'm bound to get something right. Are we communicating?  Someone said I speak in the abstract. Did she not understand me, or did she want to hear more of how I have to say it?

Love’s A Mystery

Love's a mystery.

   Can you tell?

      Can you tell when

        I'm loving you?

I discover you, yet you are still a mystery. What you say to me in your own special way really makes for a pleasant day.

What's the meaning of love today? A fleeting moment because I can't stay? I must be on my way to another close encounter the mystery way which for I can't even pay.

And I get to do it every day.

That is a mystery too.

It is something I'm compelled to do. And I am still growing accustomed too.

Perhaps it is just a time of life.

I enjoy the women in it, even if it is just for a minute. You are heaven sent and heaven bound.

I go to the places where you can be found, because with you I want to be around.  You keep my heart on solid ground.

Love

The Greatest Mystery of Life

Where does it come from? It’s like the wind, you don’t know which direction it will come from. It just shows up!

  Blowing in your face!

  Blowing at your side!

  Blowing at your back!

There is no escaping the wind when it starts blowing! You were not even expecting the wind to blow that day, that way.

Was it a bright sunny day?

Did overcast come you way? Was snow to be found?

I did not even want to be around! Let alone found. Love shows up when you need it. Love shows up when you think you don’t need it. Love shows up when you are ready. Love shows up when you don’t know you are ready.

Should I wait for love?

Love comes in many shapes and forms. Now you are glad you are born.

Love,

The greatest mystery of life.

Valley Girl !

She's a Valley Girl and she's black! She said she is not. She was only at Valley Girl School for two month's. I told her only long enough. I said we had schools down there.

She talked Valley Speak to me.

I couldn't help but giggle. She was a grown up Valley not Girl.

But she looked at me like that.

But she was black!

I told her a couple of Valley young girls sat next to me on the grass at a festival here in the East Bay. They gave me that look and talked Valley Speak too! She was equally surprised.

We talked.

I told her we both must have driven Trans Am's.

What's a Valley Girl doing with back! I guess she really is not.

She backed it up to prove it.

My head I didn't move it.

She saw that I approved it.

Yeah, she's black. She asked me if I was coming back. I said yeah.

I wonder if she will call me. I told her she had that look like she wanted to hang on some guy's arm and look beautiful. I told her right from the start that I just do what I do, and let someone else pay for it.

She showed me a beautiful diamond engagement ring. She told me she paid for it. I told her I already knew what it was for. She works three job's. I imagined they are places where she could show her beauty, and grace, and use her personality.

I didn't go back. I didn't want to leave the wrong impression. She knows how desperate I am. I am a man ain't I?  I didn't want to blow it, or think her I be dumb. I already told her I was stupid.

Besides, I didn't want her to think I was coming back for the twenty dollar tip I left her. It might of still been on the counter. I laid it there before I even started talking to her.

Sometimes I do things backwards. She said aren't you buying a drink? I asked her could I just leave a tip and not drink? I guess it was .

Check Please

Is there any chance, I could have more than a second chance? Maybe even a 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, or a 7th chance?

I know you are having difficulty with the first. I saw you reading about the 2nd. You said you have a memory that makes it hard for you.

I said everybody want's forgiveness, but don't nobody want's to forgive.

I also said perhaps it is good that you do have a memory.

I'm apt to do the same thing again, and I need you to keep me in check ...

And Finally …

Should Women Preach In Church?

An emotion erupted in me after a woman in church preached, "Why Lord?" I couldn't answer her question. I couldn't even relate. But I can't get the thought out of my mind, "Why Lord?"

I believe women speak to the heart of God. Women speak to my heart. Women speak what they want from a man's heart, in emotion. I have to find a woman when I have a response. She is the only one who can understand and correct me.

Why Lord is it like that? You made me need them. They do that to me and I am drawn. It creates a longing in my heart. And I feed upon it. It is satisfying. It is nourishing.

She preached, "Why Lord do I keep doing the same thing over and over again!" I could not answer her, I don't understand the question, there were women there, they did. I did feel her however and this came out of me.

“Why Lord” have you always taken care of me?

“Why Lord” have you given me such a good life?

“Why Lord” have you always given me what I asked for?

“Why Lord” have you shown me favor?

“Why Lord” have you bestowed favor on me?

I don't deserve it!

But I always get what I need. I needed to hear her preach, she preached to my heart. She should have preached in Church. Otherwise I would not have received what I needed.